“I’m not ok”

“I’m not ok.” This sentence is pretty short. But it’s one of the most powerful ones ever. If it’s said out loud.

I once knew someone who didn’t do that. Who wasn’t ok but never shared this with anyone. I guess that’s just one of many reasons why this person isn’t with us anymore.

We live in crazy world (corona or no corona). It’s always been crazy and overwhelming. Our value lies in other people’s opinions. We feel powerful and valuable through Likes and comments. Virtual or not. We don’t talk about sad moments or “show weakness”. When this isn’t even the same thing.

Today, we discuss so many important things in our society. Racism, sexism, violence. People are finally getting the chance to speak up and to fight what’s wrong. Which is amazing, don’t get me wrong. Yet, what we all constantly fail at is to talk about mental health. And I get it. Your mental state and feelings aren’t something you have to discuss with everybody you meet while standing in line at the grocery store or filling up your car. But that doesn’t mean nobody is going through bad days.

What I’m trying to say is: it’s ok not to be ok. In fact it’s perfectly normal. Even tho you may see other people living their “best life” and being happy 24/7. That’s a lie because nobody is. I don’t think it’s anyones intention to lie and fake happiness. It’s just normal that we share good moments, situations we are proud of and our happy life. Because why not? However, don’t wonder why everyone is happy but you. Why nobody is ever sad. Just because you can’t see something, it doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Bad days, sadness, uneasiness and feeling lost is part of life. Just as much as happiness, good days and amazing memories. Even tho the majority of us doesn’t show the first part. But let’s be real, how much do you let the whole world see, when you’re feeling down?

Which leads me to the second important part. Its ok to not be ok. However, you have to talk about it. Not only that, you have to admit it to yourself. That you aren’t perfect. That you cant be happy all the time. That today is not your favorite day.

Speak it into existence. Because if you keep everything to yourself, you will burst at some point. And it’s not easy to admit that. Not even to your closest friends. But you’ve got people in your life that care about you very much. Maybe they don’t even know how you’re feeling. Sometimes reaching out feels like being a burden to someone else. I get it. But if I have a friend who is struggling, I’d want to know. Let’s talk about it. I’ll listen to you. And I won’t judge you.

Speaking about how you’re feeling helps a lot. Why? Because sharing your thoughts will make you realize that you are not alone. And that tomorrow will be a better day. Besides, it won’t only be in your head anymore. Your mind gets new space for different, happier thoughts. Like lifting weight from your shoulders.

Now, I truly believe that being happy is something that starts within yourself and your attitude (because I constantly fail at that part). But sometimes it’s not about that anymore. Bad days or weeks turn into months or years and it starts feeling abnormal. Or even worse, it becomes part of you somehow and you get the feeling that this sadness is what life is all about. What your life is all about. (When it’s really not.)
Maybe you need someone professional to help you out and see more clearer again. And that’s fine too, because you can get help. Because what hurts you can be fixed. I mean there are memes on Instagram about going to therapy. Not because it’s funny but because a lot of people go to therapy and ask for help. Everything that is helpful to you is good.

Mental health is just as important as physical health. Yet, a lot of people are afraid that they are called weak or just overreacting, when seeking professienal help. Let me explain to you why that is nonsense.

If you bruise your arm or cut your finger a little bit, you put a band-aid on. You can tell that it’s not that bad and you can easily fix it yourself. It’s just a bad moment, but it will heal again by next week. Now, if you break your leg or cut a finger off, you can clearly tell that you won’t be able to fix it yourself and that it won’t just go away by the end of this week. What do you do? You go see a doctor. You ask someone professional for help. And you wouldn’t be ashamed for that. Because why would you?

The worst part of having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don’t.”
– Joker

Feeling that your mental health is falling apart is just like your leg breaking. You may won’t see any bones sticking out of your head (a least I hope so). And maybe that’s why it’s harder to ask. Because you can’t physically see what is causing the pain. You can’t show others. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t hurting like hell. Like I’ve said before, just because you can’t see something with your eyes, it doesn’t mean it’s not there. And that’s why asking for help is not weak at all. It’s one of the bravest things you can do.

So, it’s ok not to be ok. It’s normal. But it’s also important to talk about it, when it feels too much. When it becomes too much to handle, let others lift you up. I know it’s easier said than done. Really. But the world needs you. There are people who love you, even if you can’t see that right now. Who can’t imagine the world without you.

Losing someone because they’ve passed away is probably the hardest feeling in the whole world. Losing someone to suicide makes it even harder. Because in that moment a person thinks that there is no way out. And maybe that is their point of view, because depression clouds their mind. And you, the person who is left behind, won’t understand because you see one hundred different options and ways to change a situation. A hundred different ways out than death.

If you can’t see a way out, reach out to someone you trust. Or call the Suicide Prevention Helpline in your town. It doesn’t even have to be someone you know. But this person that you’ll ask for help will know options. Solutions you can’t see right now.

It doesn’t even have to be a hundred different options. It just has to be one. One other way out than taking your own life.

And I promise you, there is always another option. Because your time isn’t over yet. Because the world needs you. And because life is worth living.

All in all, be kind to other people and reach out to someone who might not be ok. Ask them “are you ok?”, because often it’s easier to answer this question than to start the conversation. But also be kind to yourself. Talk about what’s keeping you up at night. Or scream. Let it go. And if you don’t feel like that is something you can do at the moment, ask someone to help you out. I know it’s hard at first, but it will be better. It will be ok again and you want to be around to see that.

They say, happiness doubles when you share it with others. But what they forget to mention is that pain shrinks when you share it with somebody else.

And I wished, you knew that too.

Love, Lea ♡

If you struggle with mental health or know someone who is here are numbers you can call.

PS: I know I’m not a psychologist or doctor or whatever and maybe you think I have no freaking clue what I’m talking about. But as someone who is affected by that, I want to make sure people start talking about mental health to prevent suicide. So, maybe you don’t like me or what I’m saying. But at least I got you to think about it or talk about it. Maybe you’ll reach out to someone because they might be struggling. And that is really all that matters.


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