“wHen wiLL yOu sTaRT haVing kIDs?” – A collection of stupid questions people ask me because I’m a woman

Okey, a few thing before I start this. Number one: I’m dramatic. I don’t get asked those questions every day. Some of them I even got from my friends. But I’ve been asked some of those A LOT. And I think I’m not the only one, so I thought it would be fun to write about.
Number two: You can ask me everything. I don’t mind talking about anything, really. It always depends on the relationship we have and it always, always depends on HOW you ask something. Just ask like you actually care and not just to judge.
And the last thing – I love being a woman. Really. We are amazing. And I’m not complaining but explaining. (Feels like this is such a women thing to say.)

Let’s do this. That’s gonna be fun. (This sounds ironic, but I’m genuinely excited about this.)

1. “Where is your boyfriend?”

I can’t tell you how many times someone has asked me that. Somebody from my family or just some stranger at a club who is trying to be “your new boyfriend” (for 12 hours). But the answer is: I DON’T KNOW. Maybe he isn’t existing yet. Maybe I have to create him myself. (Like I have to do everything myself.) But if you find him, let me know.

2. “Why are you still single?”

Because I’m crazy. And I don’t like people.

3. “You never had a long-term relationship?”

This is one of my favorites. First of all, what does long-term even mean to you?
But no. Why? Kind of refers to my last answer.
I used to say I’m not a “relationship kind of person”. I don’t think that’s 100% true. But I’ve never met someone who didn’t annoy me after like a month. Also, I don’t feel like I want one. That doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t try if I’d find someone who was worth trying. That sounds kind of mean and selfish. But I’ve got so many things to do and places to see and goals to achieve. And I would never not do any of that for someone else. And the truth is a lot of people can’t deal with that.
It bothered me a lot when I was younger. But why would I start a relationship for someone else? I just don’t feel in need of someone to complete me right now. Or someone to share my food with. And maybe I’m just to messed up, who knows. But the good thing is that it’s nobodys buisiness but mine.

4. “You look pale. Are you sick?”

No, I’m just not wearing any Make-Up. But thanks.

5. “Don’t you think that dress is a little short?”

LOVE IT. No and now, that you’ve mentioned it, I’ll wear it for the rest of my life. I’m not gonna start a whole discussion about how I can wear whatever I want without “sending inappropriate signals” to any male running around. No.
I can wear whatever I feel comfortable in. And if you mind that, just look somewhere else.

6. “I can see your bra coming out of your shirt. Don’t you wanna fix that?”

Suprsingly the answer is: No.
I don’t know why people are bothered by bra straps because is it really a suprise that women are wearing them?????

7. “Are you on your period? You are so bitchy today.”

This question isn’t only stupid, but really dangerous. Because if I’m actually on my period and you’d ask me that, there is a high chance of both of us bleeding today.

8. “You are going home alone tonight?”

Thank you. Next.

9. “When will you (finally) get married?”

I put the “finally” in brackets cause it’s optional. (lol)
Probably never, Susan. I DON’T KNOW.
Also, I’m not gonna take someone else’s last name, since we are shocking people today.

10. “You can’t do that. Aren’t you afraid of what others might think of you?”


11. “Don’t you feel “cheap” after having a One-Night-Stand?”

Why is it that men can literally have sex with as many women as they want and women can’t do that? Well the answer is, you can. But you can’t give a f*ck about what other people think of you. Because sadly, people feel like they have to judge others on how many people they’ve slept with.
(Oh and no, I don’t feel cheap or “like I’m a whore”. I’m probably feeling great cause I just had sex.)

12. “Are you sure you want to eat all of that?”

Yes. And I migh eat you too, if you ask me again.

13. “Is he really just your best friend?”

I don’t know about men, but women don’t fall in love with every male individual they hang out with.

14. “Are you sure you can do that?”

I doesn’t even matter what you are talking about but YES. Even if it’s just to proof you wrong.

15. “You always look mean. Why can’t you smile more?”

IT’S MY FACE. It’s called “resting bitch face”. Look it up.

16. “When will you start having kids?”

I saved the best for last. This question drives me insane. And I’m just 22. (I have to mention that before I turn 23 in two weeks.) And I always answer “never”. (That might not even be true, but I love the face people make when you tell them that.)
Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVE talking about having kids (that I’ll probably never have) and names and all those things. But there are moments, when this is just inappropriate to ask. And if you are a woman, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Also, you never know, if someone just don’t want any kids or can’t have any. Maybe they’ve just lost a baby. You just never know.

You can obviously ask if someone wants kids at one point in their life. I think that’s really interesting. But don’t ask “WHEN” they will. Because this word puts sooo much pressure one someone who maybe doesn’t even want any. (I get that. Kids are rude af.)

Now, I feel like I have to explain myself. But actually I’m not going to. Because as a woman, I have to do that all the time.
If you can’t see my sarcastic comments as what they are, we probably just can’t be friends.

I’ve always pressured myself into situations and relationships I never even wanted. Because I felt like I had to for someone else. Because I wanted to “be normal”. Well guess what. I’m over it. But those questions are part of the reason women feel pressured and stressed.

But the only rule that exists is that there a no rules. If you wanna have five kids by the time you turn 30 go for it. If you don’t want kids at all, good for you.

I think the “having kids” part is the most important one. NOT EVERY WOMAN WANTS TO BE A MOTHER. There. I said it. (Well, wrote it.) Everyone expects women to become mothers one day, but not everyone expects men to be fathers one day. And not every person on this planet is born to be a parent. And that’s fine too.

I think what I’m trying to say is, the next time you ask someone any of those questions above think about me judging you. And consider how you’ll say whatever you were going to say.

Sincerely, all women I know.

Thanks for coming to my thursday TED talk.

Love, Lea ♡

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